Just a note before an actual entry.

This post might be somewhat messy and that is because I don’t have the time to polish it and proof-read it. This probably won’t be a one time occurrence and it’ll happen many times while I’m doing this course.

Therefore, I decided that even if I write these posts in a rough state right after I do my meditations, I’ll polish them on Sundays since I have much more free time during the weekend.

Date: 19. 08. 2014.

Time of waking up: 06:15 AM

I got a stomach ache in the middle of the night and I had to go to the bathroom – the diarrhea issue made sure that I don’t get out of it during the next 45 minutes, so I slept an hour longer to catch up on the lost sleep time.

Weather: Sunny

Health: Stomach problems throughout the whole day, few minor cold symptoms(my throat is sore)

Mood: tired/slightly depressed because of my current life circumstances.

Stadha(06:15)

– It was ok. I feel that this practice sets the atmosphere of my whole day, when its being done in the morning.

Rune Meditation

– Technical

Highlights are the relaxation and the Rune-meditation, because my concentration was great during each of them. I also noticed that my visualization of the Rune is getting more stable and somewhat more self-sustaining; it takes less effort to hold it in my thought, and the same thing happened with the mantra. Yesterday I was wrestling with it, but today it was ”spinning” almost naturally.

Centering was somewhat bad, because I was impatient to get to the Rune-part. Gotta keep that lust for result in check.

– Content

Jackpot! It’s not that I had many new ideas about Fehu, as much as it’s like the older ones got clarified and deepened.

I thought about how Fehu is actually life, but then I realized that Fehu is not the life that is led by a conscious, free individual but the life of a person who is dependent on others. The life we live before we move out from our parents house. Shelter restrains us.

It’s a life within the family, and it is also a type of life that people who can’t manage to find their place in the world live, those who are dependent of others. Some examples would be beggars, drunkards..

Poor.

Fehu represents life without aspirations. Once person gets ”individualized”, self-reliant and lives a life in which he is pursing his own goals and has his own ideas, thinks his own thoughts – that is the Life as its meant to be Lived, and that type of Life is embodied in the Raido-Rune which is a Rune of Journey.

That made me realize that Fehu is in a lot of ways Rune of dependency. We depend on so much things. Food, Water, Sleep.. MONEY is what makes all of these possible, so in a way we are enslaved to it. The Devil card from Tarot illustrates this perfectly. We live in material world. We are from the material world. There is no way around it, so why not make peace with this fact?

Fehu provides freedom to those who accept it. We should fall in love with the money, and not resent it. It’s a medium by which our personal power is tested and expressed in this world.

Money(Fehu) separates wheat from the chalk – those who fail to grasp this lesson stay trapped in it. Those who get it, move on and enjoy what it brings to them – such is the nature of this Rune.

Having all this in mind, I naturally associated the Fehu with Capitalism and Consumerism. The spirit of those times/movements is the spirit of this Rune.

Mudra: (20:00 PM)

– Performed it. I realized that I can somewhat ”project” the energy from the hand by chanting the name.

“Feeee-“; I feel the energy in my hand, feel the Rune in it, KNOW that it’s in there.

“-huuuu”; Feel the energy move out of hand to the object in front of it(this time I sent it to the altar)

Galdr:

– Haven’t performed it yet, but I’ll do it right before the sleep. This seems like a best time for it.