Due to some personal issues, I’ve had to stop the practice for a week or two. I’ll be resuming next week.
A pause
24 Wednesday Sep 2014
Posted Uncategorized
in24 Wednesday Sep 2014
Posted Uncategorized
inDue to some personal issues, I’ve had to stop the practice for a week or two. I’ll be resuming next week.
14 Sunday Sep 2014
Posted Ansuz, Uncategorized
inOk, so I wasn’t posting anything for the last week, mostly because I wasn’t writing anything.
This week I failed with maintaining structured, disciplined way of life, due to the varous reasons but mostly due to the fucked up sleep schedule, which was disturbed by mosquitos and the dog of my neighbour which has a tendency to stay quiet during the day and bark at night. He seems to enjoy preventing me from sleeping.
And because I wasn’t keeping tracks(carefully journaling) of what I was doing – I’ll describe the whole week in this post, and because I haven’t been disciplined I’m going to repeat everything next week which means I’m going to meditate on Ansuz again and won’t move on to the next Rune untill I’m satisfied.
It’s worth noting that while I was skipping my Rune-meditations and practices, I have been doing mindfulness exercise atleast 2 daily without exceptions, along with the physical exercise(running/cycling) and some other private stuff, meaning I wasn’t COMPLETELY lazy. x)
Monday:
– I got up kinda late, but I did everything non-the-less including the Rune-meditation.
During it, I was mostly remembering what this Rune is all about and I was investigating some insights I gained from some earlier meditations.
I’ve also gained insight into a meaning of the second poem which states
“Ansuz is the way of most journeys,
but scabbard is for swords“
I’ve figured that Ansuz in this context represents “nice speech” since whatever journey you take, you’re going to meet people and have to deal with them. And the way one deals with people is done through talking/listening mostly.
The second verse is kinda cryptic, and it tells us that swords should be sheathed. But sword is a kenning for what in this case? Could swords be something like nasty remarks, hurtful comments? I remember the words of Loki in Lokassena. It seems proper that those kind of talking is poisonous and shouldn’t come out of someone’s mouth unless there is a good reason for it. Insults and foul language are intended to pierce through opponents defense mechanisms and touch the soul, so it seems fitting to see them as swords, which could be connected to the Thurisaz rune which is all about piercing through something and it shouldn’t be used carelessly.
In the context of this Rune, swords could also be seen as words that someone needs to hear, but are uncomfortable to deal with. Harsh truth that you sometimes confront friends with in order to help them. Tough love. But again, one must be careful with those, too.. “Scabbard is for swords”..
Tuesday:
– Skipped the meditation and mudra due to not having time to perform those during the day and I was too tired and sleepy in the evening.
Wednesday:
– Did everything except mudra and galdr. This si what I wrote after meditating:
Ansuz is a conciousness, and the pillars of conciousness are ideas and mental concepts which we naturally link with words. These ideas and concepts come from inspiration and this Rune actually represent all three of those. Concioussness, ideas, inspiration. Ansuz is the “Eureka” moment we have.. A profound clarity on some issue. It’s a solution we come upon when we try to solve a problem.
Therefore, Ansuz is also knowledge about things and knowledge gives us a framework which we can use in order to live more effectively. A man who is no longer blind can now easily find it’s way to whatever he is seeking. Thus the natural product of this Rune is independence and sovereignity which are gained by understanding one’s place in a world.. In a greater scheme of things.
I also realized the following. Ideas are represented by Ansuz, and this Rune(as all the others) exist in both microcosmos and macrocosmos. This means that this Rune covers both the ideas we already have(these exist in our own mind, so Ansuz represents those on microcosm) and the ideas that exist but which we aren’t aware of(meaning all the ideas that could possibly be concieved; Ansuz of macrocosm).
So how do we come to new ideas? Obviously, by combining the ideas we have with one another in order to create new ones. This is be done conciously, through concentrated effort(analytical mode of thinking), or by letting our mind lose while daydreaming(diffuse mode of thinking) or dreaming – through inspiration.
But Ansuz is not the force that links the ideas. It’s just an each and every idea that exist. The force that links the ideas together thus leading to new “Ansuzes”(ideas) and the expansion of our “Ansuz zone” – is Kenaz.
Thus Kenaz is the linking force, not the Ansuz. So even while Ansuz does represent that Eureka moment, that new idea which enters our conciousness – it doesn’t represent creativity per se, which stands under the imaginary umbrella of Kenaz.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
I’ve had some personal business to take care off, so I’ve went to the Novi Sad(first larger nearby city) on Thursday. This ended up by me getting home late and drunk since I’ve met some friends and we decided to stop on “just one beer”..
Needless to say, it wasn’t just one that day and because I was tired + intoxicated, I didn’t meditate that day. At friday I realized that I already skipped two meditations, mudra exercises as well as galdr ones and I’ve figured out that it would be best to wait till the next monday and repeat everything.
08 Monday Sep 2014
Posted Thurisaz, Uncategorized
inDate: 07. 09. 2014.
Time of waking up: 08:30 AM
Weather: Cloudy, rain – later in the day sunny
Health: Good
Mood: Good
Stadha (09:05 AM)
– Great concentration
Rune Meditation (11:50 PM)
– Technical
Could have been better if I’ve done it earlier when I was less tired, but it is what it is. My concentration was bad durring the most part of the meditation, and I wasn’t very still in my Asana.
– Content
Had one new insight, which is not really new but something I’ve just failed to notice. Since Thurisaz is about Jotuns and they are primal forces of the universe, this Rune also encompasses the danger of the wildreness. It’s that feeling you get when you’re in Saharah, or Amazon – that everything is trying to kill you, everything is dangerous. Here’s a stanza:
“Thurisaz is the danger of the nature.”
Mudra ( / )
– /// I’ll have to repeat the mudra exercise for Thurisaz after I these six-months pass. I ain’t satisfied with myself, I neglected this exercise and had shitty work ethic this week.
Galdr (00:40 AM )
– Ok
07 Sunday Sep 2014
Posted Uncategorized
inDate: 06. 09. 2014.
Today I took a day off. I figured that I’m becoming more and more avoidant of the work, and that the reason is because I need a day or two of rest. I stopped everything today and allowed myself to procrastrinate since I’m still getting used to this new regime of working and living.
Normally I wouldn’t allow myself something like this but since I already have 21+ meditations on this Rune only I figured that its ok to give myself enough time in order to replenish batteries. I don’t want to burnout and stop doing the whole thing for a week or month – this is a better option I believe.
I still did my mindfulness exercises, as well as stadha and galdr. These went ok and weren’t a burden.
07 Sunday Sep 2014
Posted Thurisaz, Uncategorized
inDate: 05. 09. 2014.
Time of waking up: 12:30 PM
Weather: Raining
Health: Ok
Mood: Ok
Stadha (12:35 PM)
– Ok
Rune Meditation (10:20 PM)
– Technical
Much better than yesterday, I lasted in my Asana till the end of meditation. Watched at clock for a few times.
– Content
Nothing new under the sun – most of my current ideas about Thurisaz I’ve writen here:
http://occultcorpus.com/forums/index.php?/topic/26794-thurisaz-and-mosquitos/
During the meditation my understanding of these concept got deeper, but I don’t think I’ve learned anything truly new.
Mudra (01:00 AM)
– Ok
Galdr (01:05 AM)
– Bad concentration
05 Friday Sep 2014
Posted Thurisaz, Uncategorized
inDate: 04. 09. 2014.
Time of waking up: 14:15 PM
I went to bed last night at 01:30 AM and I couldn’t fall asleep till 05:30 AM because of the mosquitos. I lost all my nerves.
Weather: Mostly cloudy, but it rained a few times.
Health: Good
Mood: Anxious, Irritable, Inpatient(my standard response to the rainy weather)
Stadha (14:30 PM)
– Ok, really felt the Rune. Visualization was also good.
Rune Meditation (22:30 PM)
– Technical
Catastrophe. I did it late in the evening and I was tired, demotivated and irritable. Mostly due to the bad weather and mosquitos that ruined my evening – I killed 30 of them in just few hours and they kept coming so I had to sleep in another room. The rest of the house is fine and I’m seriously suspecting that this has something to do with the Rune since Thurisaz is about needles, piercing skin etc.
I only lasted for 15 minutes of the Rune part until I lost my patience and called it quits, so I didn’t even finish my sitting.
– Content
Blankkkk.. No new insight, no old insights – I couldn’t concentrate at all.
Mudra (01:10 AM)
– This went ok. The only thing of notice was that I did the practice immediately after galdr and I usually do these two separately.
Galdr ( 01:05AM )
– Ok, though my concentration could have been better.
05 Friday Sep 2014
Posted Thurisaz, Uncategorized
inDate: 03. 09. 2014.
Time of waking up: 12:30 PM
Weather: Rainy
Health: Good
Mood: Irritable
Stadha (12:35 PM)
– Ok, getting easier to visualize.
Rune Meditation (23:30 PM)
– Technical
It wasn’t good. I was tired and fidgeting and my concentration was low.
– Content
Old, old and old associations. Needle, hook, precision, tool, conquest!
Also got a new insight that Thurisaz could be a path between Jotunheim and Asgard because of its association with both Thurses(Jotuns) and Thor, who is a good. Since the Thor often travels to Jotunheim in the myths, and Jotuns are frequently trying to overtake Asgard this seems as a reasonable attribution.
Mudra (00:30 AM)
– Ok, but there was no feeling.
Galdr (01:05 AM )
– My concentration was bad, I rushed through the exercise and did it mechanicaly.
05 Friday Sep 2014
Posted Thurisaz, Uncategorized
inDate: 02. 09. 2014.
Time of waking up: near 09:00 AM
Weather: Cloudy, Rainy
Health: Good
Mood: Good
Stadha ( 09:05 AM )
– My performance was ok, but I didn’t feel anything.
Rune Meditation (22:15 PM)
– Technical
Great. Stayed steady throughout the whole Asana and my concentration was strong during the whole time. I looked at the clocked only once.
– Content
Mostly I was thinking about Thurisaz’s standard meanings, associating them with the things in my daily life but I also analyzed its association with Thor and Lightning. No new insights.
Mudra ( )
– Skipped the exercise cause I forgot it till it was to late.
Galdr (01:05 AM )
– Ok, getting the feel for what is the best way to sing this Rune. Thurisaz has nothing to do with falsetto! 🙂
05 Friday Sep 2014
Posted Thurisaz, Uncategorized
inDate: 01. 09. 2014.
Time of waking up: 12:30 PM (I’ll fix this tomorrow by waking up at 8:00 AM no matter what, and that will also be my default waking time from now on.. 05:00 AM isn’t convenient for me anymore because of the several reasons)
Weather: Cloudy, rainy
Health: Mostly good, even though my tooth hurts a little. Gotta get that fixed.
Mood: Good, though a little more anxious than I was yesterday.
Stadha (18:00 PM)
– It was ok, but I think that the pose of it isn’t good since I use it everyday as a part of my body language. I don’t want to make association between my standard dominant pose(arm on hip, legs relaxed) and Thurisaz rune(which is a ”problem” almost by definition, literally).
I found another way to make my stance resemble Thurisaz and I’ll be using that from now on.
Rune Meditation (22:20 PM)
– Technical
Great! I’ve sat through till the end and I only moved my hands and checked the clock once and that was 09:00 minutes before the meditation ended.
My concentration was awesome the whole time and I rarely lost the sight of the Rune or got lost in thoughts.
– Content
Well mostly I was remembering what this Rune is all about and going through my mind with the associations. Keep in mind that I already meditated on this Rune for 21 time in the past so I’ll really be suprised if I get any new insights.
It doesn’t mind anyway, since I’m more interested in how will my daily life start to mirror it.
Mudra (23:30 PM)
– Good, really liking this one!
Galdr (00:30 AM )
– It was ok, though I was experimenting a lot. Seems like the falsetto mode isn’t the right choice for this one.
01 Monday Sep 2014
Posted Uncategorized, Uruz
inDate: 31. 08. 2014.
Time of waking up: 11:30 AM
Weather: Cloudy, but no rain or wind.
Health: Good
Mood: Great, very calm through out the day and only very mild anxiety.
Stadha (11:45 AM)
– Relieved that this is my final practice of the Uruz stance. Proud to say that I haven’t learned nothing by practicing this for the last 7 days! 😀
Rune Meditation (00:05 AM)
– Technical
Again, late but at least I had enough energy to think and sit still even though my concentration could have been better.
– Content
Mostly I was thinking about how Uruz is all about size and about being big. Auroch was not a small animal, mind you.
I realized that Uruz represents all the great things which scare us. I mean things like the Pyramids, or the 7 world wonders in general. The grand achievements of humanity. More abstract things shouldn’t be forgotten either, like personal achievements, novels, scientific breakthroughs and all that. James Joyce’s Ulysses comes to mind.
All these things are so great that its easy to get scared that we can’t top them and that is Uruz right there: fear that can be harnessed as motivation.
We can try to top them!
Mudra (00:55 AM)
– Ok, nothing special to notice.
Galdr (01:03 AM)
– Same as the above.